Quick write this down, take a photo, record this moment in time as right now the way a feel about squash is at it’s best!
It’s these days that are the ones we wait for, the way you hope to feel everyday but knowing it’s just not possible. If you felt it everyday you wouldn’t have that drive to find it and push yourself. So that’s why when it finally happens you have to grab it and hold on as it won’t be around long!

I never understood when people would say ‘I play for the love of the sport’. I just agreed and saw it was a well accepted comment especially for interviews and articles so I went with it to avoid standing out. It became a saying that was simply just said but had no meaning or purpose behind it, merely words. A go-to answer! Like a TelePrompTer on a tv show and the script is written. Some athletes need a script because they will never truly get to feel the emotion I’m talking about or they are just really bad at interviews! There’s nothing worse then watching the Olympics, Commonwealth Games or major sporting tournaments and events where the athletes are interviewed afterwards and they lack personality or say the most basic answers that the last 10 people have said; the predictable option.

This statement ‘for the love of the sport’, made me question to myself, if I did really feel the right way about playing? Was I normal not really playing for this so called ‘love of the sport’? Creating a cloud of doubt as I was never sure if I was different to everyone else or whether they too just said those words and didn’t understand them. Was I alone in feeling this way, feeling unsure and out of place.

Why do you play squash? It’s was such a tough question but I’ve finally found my answer…. I love the sport. Ridiculously ironic right! I honestly didn’t think it was possible I thought I would continue playing because it’s what I did and I’m fairly good. This current feeling I have about squash has me excited. All the elements both on and off the court like tactics, fitness, challenge, friends, travel and of-course the win! It’s all combined into this one big bubble of passion for the sport.

My recent state of mind has caused the epiphany!! A moment of realisation that I’m actually enjoying my squash and there’s no other word for it. Pure enjoyment. My mind is in such a positive place outside of squash and it shows through into my training and even my tournaments. This happy state of mind is allowing me to relax and take the pleasures from what I’m doing. No stress, no pressure.
I know this feeling is short lived so I’m going to run with it as long as possible and when it runs low remind myself I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else or doing anything else right now.

It’s tricky to explain and I’d like to offer more insight but with this realisation I’ve learnt everyone finds their own feelings and reasons behind why they play in their own time, own way. It’s the experiences that each individual goes through that will bring together their own answer.
That’s when it all makes sense and your left feeling totally buzzed!!!

& that’s My Athlete Mind…

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